No words, no postcards, no sermons can be reassuring enough to console you and make your mind think about anything else. Emotions are a gift of nature and I my mind emotions are what make humankind such a special living species. We are blessed with feelings of joy and sorrow – the different shades of life. I am sure friends and family will cluster around you in these times of distress in an effort to help you tide over the trying times. I am also sure that your conscious mind thinks all of that concern is useless. You feel that all the love and charm has suddenly been removed from your life and it's just not worth it any more.
Let Things Flow and Nature Will Find A Way
It is often said that when we cry it clears our vision. Take the time to let your emotions flow. More you try to stifle the grief inside, worse you will feel. Crying is a natural reaction of your body to relieve stress on your nervous system. The activation of your tear ducts, the typical facial expressions of someone in grief are all controlled by your brain, which is trying to make your body settle down to its steady state. So if you are trying to arrest this natural reaction, your body has no other way to relate that stress. As a result it starts building up more and more, causing additional stress.
The brain reacts to this aggravated stress by initiating the generation of more adrenaline and cortisols in your blood stream and the level on endorphins such as serotonin (the happy hormone) in your brain drops. As a result your heart rate increases, you start breathing faster, blood pressure rises, blood vessels dilate and you could get headaches or experience dizziness. Again, these are all natural reactions or alternate reactions that the brain initiates with the only goal to relieve the heightened stress in your body.
So, if you have to grieve, do not hold yourself back. But be watchful though, because sometimes people can not distinguish the borderline between grief and depression and cross over quite unknowingly. As a result, there is an inclining to dwell on the loss for days on end, which in turn leads to depression and anxiety. If this is not addressed early enough, some people have also been reported to develop suicidal intentions. This is not where you want to find yourself. Believe it or not, I am asking you to be disciplined in your grief. Remember that the person who has passed away is not feeling anything anymore. The people who are left behind have to bear the agony of the loss.
Celebrate The Life Of Your Loved One – Do not Brood Over The Demise
If you watched the movie "The Last Samurai", recall the scene at the end of the movie where the character played by Tom Cruise kneels before the Emperor of Japan in surrender and the Emperor asks Tom Cruise to tell him how the character played by Ken Watanabe died in battle. Do you recall the answer? Mr. Cruise pauses for a moment and says "I will tell you how he lived ". Do you see the point of this example?
Even in your grief, celebrate the life of your loved one who has passed away instead of brooding over the demise. Leverage the positive distraction technique where you remember the happy times and the good deeds that person had done in his or her lifetime and rejoice in that glory. There is no better healing than the celebration of the glory of life that you shared with your loved one. Cherish those memories and see if you can draw inspiration from them and / or share them with your near and dear ones.
Every person born has to meet the Maker one day – it is a fact of life. There is no point in resisting that law of nature – the sooner you accept it, the easier it will be for you to move on. Moreover, do you think your grief or even your depression will bring your loved one back to life? You are not helping that person, but causing injury to yourself in the process of your uncontrolled bereavement. So, what really is the point of dwelling on something you can not reverse – it will only subject you to more stress and could also lead to the development of post traumatic stress disorders which can make things really complicated for yourself and for people in your daily life .
Life is a journey where the colors change, like the colors of the sky. Can you do anything about the rain by complaining? Think about something good, relive some precious moments, feel the joy in your heart and do not fight the emotions to cry – those tears do help clear your vision – literally and spiritually.